Tuesday, April 27, 2010

This Merry-Go Round Is Making Me Kinda Dizzy

I think I might possibly be the worst blogger ever.  No really EVER.  I really really really am going to try to do better.  I promise.  Also, I'm way behind on reading all the blogs I follow...and I'm way behind on answering emails.  Seriously, I'm not ignoring you.

Ok, so here's what's going on in my world.  This is not meant to be an excuse, but I have been really preoccupied.

On the 17th of this month I received a message on my MySpace Truth Box app from someone that I literally never thought I would ever hear from again.  I didn't get the message until the 21st because honestly I only randomly log onto MySpace when I'm extremely bored and have absolutely nothing else to do.  Anyway, I was shocked to get this message...it basically just had a phone number and it said "I think you should call me", and was signed "former member of the dorky ducky club" (that's a story for another day).

It all begin in the winter of 2004...I met this woman online, we'll call her Brooke.  We chatted online for awhile, exchanged emails, and eventually started talking on the phone.  I will not lie to you, I was completely head over heels for her.  Yeah, I know...you're thinking that's pretty dumb.  Well, I've never claimed to be smart when it comes to women.  So anyway, after we had been talking for awhile we decided that we should meet.  We didn't live anywhere near each other....I was in Texas and she was in Michigan.  I believe it was late January/early February when we first started planning this trip.  I worked for a university in TX at the time and Spring Break was going to be the first available opportunity for me to travel.  So it was set, things were great, I was giddy.  We continued chatting back and forth, and we would send each other cards and packages and whatnot.  My friends were sickened by the cuteness of it all.  On February 15th she totally dropped a bomb on me.  A friend of hers, Jen, showed up at her house the previous night...Valentine's Day...with a bouquet of flowers and expressed her undying love.  Brooke calls me and tells me that maybe a long distance relationship isn't what she up for, and it's probably smarter to pursue things with the local girl.

I was crushed.  Also Brooke was not allowed to talk to me anymore because the new girl felt threatened by me.  Awesome.

Fast forward to October 15, 2006.  I got a call from Brooke...she informed me that she and Jen had broken up the previous night.  This is really odd because I had also broken things off with my girlfriend the previous evening.  Weird huh?  I saw this as a sign.  We were just meant to be.  Who woulda thought that I am a hopeless romantic?  Anyway, we talked back and forth.  I flew out to Michigan...she flew into Denver.  All was well and good, and I was ecstatic.  Then in February Brooke informed me that she had been talking to Jen, and she was breaking up with me to see if she could make things work with her.

I was crushed.  This time Brooke promised that we would keep in touch because she didn't want to lose my friendship.  That didn't happen.  Jen hates me...I know this is hard to believe seeing as how I'm so lovable and all....but the chick literally hates me.

So now Brooke and Jen have broken up again.  Brooke is calling me again.  Brooke would like to come to Georgia to visit.  Jen is probably currently plotting on ways to kill me.

I really don't know what to do.  I'm not so blind that I can't see the pattern here.  But for me Brooke was always the one who got away...twice.  Part of me is so excited that I'm back in contact with her, and part of me is terrified that in a few months she's going to go back to Jen, and I'm going to be left to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.  My sister in law thinks I'm crazy...actually I think her exact words were, "Are you fucking stupid?".  Stupid or not, I love this woman and if there's even a remote possibility that we can make things work then I'm going for it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Ducky-2, BlackBerry-0

So, my drunken sister in law threw me in the lake yesterday.  My BlackBerry was in my pocket.
Rest in peace replacement BlackBerry that I didn't really like anyway.  And, I still miss you BlackBerry Bold.

*UPDATE:  the craptastic replacement BlackBerry is now functioning again.  I still REALLY miss you BlackBerry Bold! 

But on a happier note the season premier of Glee is on tonight.  :D

Monday, April 12, 2010

I Am Cheating On K-Stew With E-Shue

So, remember the other day when I said that living at the lake was going to be ridiculously fucking awesome?  I was right.  This weekend was insane.  We had soooooo much fun.  There were a few mishaps...but all in all we had a good time.

Friday night it was just me and Sandy hanging out.  We headed downstairs to the play room and shot several games of pool...and took several shots...then we watched Steel Magnolias until the sad part then we changed the channel.  Neither of us wanted to cry.  Unfortunately for me I managed to find the last shard of glass from the broken margarita machine, and got it lodged in my foot.  Sandy is an excellent nurse, she dug it out and bandaged me up...after that mishap we decided it was time for bed.  That night was relatively low-key by our standards.

Saturday morning we woke up pretty early.  Probably too early, because by 9:30 that morning we started drinking.  Smart idea?  Maybe not.  Several members of Sandy's family came over Saturday afternoon...we grilled some food, hung out on the dock where Sandy got a splinter stuck in her foot, took a boat ride, drank a little, played some pool, and just had a nice time.  Around 8pm Sandy, her mom, and her sister decided that they NEEDED to go get tattoos.  I have managed to lose my ID, so Aunt Alicia got to spend a few quality hours with all the children.  So that means it was me against 5 kids...I had two of Bradley and Sandy's, two of Sandy's sister, and one of Sandy's sister's boyfriend.  I seriously had an Adventures In Babysitting moment...I was also totally reminded of my crush on Elizabeth Shue.  At a few points in the evening I wanted to shout, "Don't fuck with the babysitter"....but I refrained.  I let the kids run around like maniacs for awhile and then convinced them all that it would be a really good idea to go to bed.  I honestly can't believe they minded me...I still haven't perfected my "mommy voice", and they have a tendency to not listen to a damn thing I say.  I really was thrilled that I didn't have to fight them too much at bedtime.  The adults all got back and we decided it would be a great idea to have a bonfire.  We ran out of wood, so we got a bit creative about what we burned.  *sorry about your flip flops Bradley...we aren't sorry about that ugly ass rug though*  At this point I was exhausted so I totally crashed.

Sunday I woke up to maniac children yelling and jumping all over me.  Fabulous!  I stumbled upstairs and had some breakfast and then collapsed on the couch...Sandy and Bradley went to take a nap.  Sandy's sister looked at me at one point and asked me, "do you hear water running?".  I did not hear water running.  About five minutes later she said, "no really I hear water running".  As lazy as I was feeling I decided I should probably get up to investigate.  I walked to the bathroom by the boys room, and found the problem.  Little Max had several diapers stuffed in the toilet and had tried to flush them.  Awesome!  The whole room was flooded.  That was a bitch to clean up.  I'm still trying to figure out how he got the diapers off the changing table...he is not that tall.  Kids are creative I suppose....I am learning that if you look away for two minutes they will be into something.  Sunday evening  Mason walked out on the upper deck where I was smoking and just looked at me and said he had to tee-tee.  He always tells one of us before he goes to the bathroom....so I said, "ok go in there and tee-tee".  At this point he pulls his swim trunks down and proceeds to urinate on the deck.  Unfortunately the guys were pulling our dinner off the grill....which is on the lower deck.  Thanks for the marinade kiddo.