A month, really?  I didn't realize it had been that long since I posted something.  Lots and lots has been going on. 

Let's see, I got married.  Not for real married, just pretend married.  On a drunken evening she told me that she really liked one of my rings, so apparently I proposed marriage and gave her the ring.  I had just met her three hours earlier, and she's straight.  But let me tell ya, my wifey is smokin' hot.  Also, I have acquired a new girlfriend.  A for real girlfriend, not a pretend one.  She is super great and my family/friends adore her.  Odd thing here:  my wifey and my girlfriend are really good friends.  Fun times at the lake.

Also, I was at the midnight premier of Eclipse.  LOVED it.  If you haven't seen it yet, wtf is wrong with you? ;)  And if you happen to have a bar near you called Dos Copas...ok, really your favorite neighborhood bar will do...I highly recommend meeting friends there beforehand and having lots of fun, taking goofy pics, and a few drinks beforehand.  Just don't forget to use the restroom prior to the movie starting.  I'm full of helpful tips.

I wanted to catch up on some blog reading/commenting/emailing this weekend...but since it's a holiday I'm not even going to pretend that this will actually happen.  I'm going to work on getting caught up with all my bloggy friends lives starting Monday.  I hope you are all doing well.

*ducky hugs*

This Has Gotten Out Of Hand

So, I've been eating/drinking pretty consistently crappily (is that even a word?) since, well, forever...and lately I've been on a serious brain junk-food overload as well. It started out slow and all innocent, just reading a few mysteries, and watching a few reality shows. But my brain is all bloated and lazy and mushy now, I don't want to pick up a "real" novel that has heft, substance, or heaven forbid complex sentence structure. So, instead, I've spent the last couple of months playing. Horrible TV and alcohol binges for the most part, though I threw in some mindless gossip rags and several games of pool for good measure. That certainly has my brain functioning at peak form.

Now I think it might be time for me to get back to my Day Zero Project.  I checked on my progress, and my list is now 15% completed....better than the 9% I last reported, but still really damn embarrassing.  I need to feel like a somewhat productive member of society again.  And trust me, I've tried to convince myself that partying = productivity...but even drunk me didn't believe that load of crap.  I've been searching for songs/videos to keep me motivated during my latest endeavor.  The following video will be my inspiration...




aww, come on...I haven't said anything about my favorite pretend girlfriend in at least a five or six days, and the song does say "work" in it ;)



*also, please note that I somehow made this video fit in the appropriate amount of space.  I'm not exactly sure how I did that...but I'm still proud of myself.

No Need To Panic

Well well well...looks like my little K-Stew is getting some advice from former co-star Jodie Foster.  According to the article in People magazine Jodie told Kristen, "You know, you could learn a thing or two from me".  In my version of reality, this means that she's gonna show her the way out of the closet....and then she's going to introduce her to me.

exhibit a:

This is where Jodie is obviously arguing the merits of just being yourself.

exhibit b:

Kristen sees the wisdom of Jodie's words...which makes Jodie, and me, happy.

exhibit c:

And the most compelling evidence I have...Jodie huddled in a closet (ok, panic room) with Kristen circa 2002.

This either makes me a genius, or completely delusional...either way I was entertained for a good chunk of time when I was supposed to be working.

*hat tip to Peggy for sending me the link to the article

A Little Of This, A Little Of That

Hmm maybe I jinxed 'em.  The Seattle Storm handed the Dream their first loss of the season last night.  Sorry 'bout that Shalee...but really Sue Bird has been my pretend girlfriend for much longer. 

Also, I would just like to state that Jane Lynch aka Sue Sylvester cracks me up.  Here's a quote from last night's episode:  "You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent."  I'm a bit saddened that next week is the season finale of Glee.  Thank goodness for basketball season.

On a more personal note, I can barely move today.  I only thought I was sore yesterday.  Sooooo, I either need attempt wakeboarding more frequently....or just stop.  Intermittently wakeboarding getting dragged behind a boat while a wakeboard is strapped to my feet, is not a good idea obviously.  I have sore muscles in places that I didn't know I had muscles.

My nephew isn't having a good day today.  I think the little munchkin is pretty sore too.  Apparently he was all hopped up on his pain medication last night and thought it would be a good idea to get out of bed and run around the house like a maniac.  It's really difficult to explain the benefits of resting and being still while recovering to a 3 yr old.  He is also very upset that he hasn't gotten to go on the boat/swim in "foreber"...the effects that lake germs have on gaping wounds also make no sense to him. 

This song is currently stuck in my head.  Thank you Doria Roberts for being freakin' awesome...

If this song gets stuck in your head, you're welcome....unless you hate it, and then I have to question your musical taste and/or sanity, but I still won't be sorry ;)

*waddle waddle, quack quack*

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

I love, love, love (did I mention love?) long weekends.  Thank you Memorial Day for letting me drink myself into a stupor on Monday rather than having to work.  Fun times.  I attempted wakeboarding again, and obviously this is not the sport for me.  I suck on a monumental level...and I am pretty sore and bruised all over.  Awesome.  I'm still trying to convince myself that this is not because I'm getting old...my younger brother is not helping matters though since he now refers to me as "the senior citizen".  He's so precious.

What was not so fun about the weekend?  My poor little nephew, Mason, had to have surgery.  He has MRSA which is basically a really fucking badass staph infection.  They sliced and diced his little leg almost to the bone to get all of the infection out.  I would post a pic, but in all honesty the cut made me gag a little bit, and I really don't want it on my blog for all eternity.  He is back home, resting and recovering.  I feel bad for the little guy...the docs said he doesn't need to walk until at least Thursday, and it's getting hard for the 3 year old to sit still. 

And now I will ramble about basketball for just a moment.  The Atlanta Dream is impressing the hell out of me this year...they are off to a 6-0 start this year.  The Dream are an expansion team that started in 2008...that year they only won 4, that's right 4, games.  Last year they improved to 18-16 which I thought was pretty incredible.  And this year they are the only undefeated team in the WNBA.  That being said the San Antonio Silver Stars and the Seattle Storm are still my favorite teams.  BUT I am glad that I finally live in the general vicinity of a WNBA team, maybe I'll get to catch a game or two this season.  Also, thank you Dream for providing me with my pretend girlfriend of the day....


Shalee Lehning

Yo, VIP, Let's Kick It

Damn you Will Schuester!  This song has been stuck in my head since last Tuesday...can't wait to see which one it's replaced with tonight.

And since it is Glee night, I think I'll have a Glee-themed pretend girlfriend today.  Hellooooo Cheerio ;)

Have I mentioned that I love Glee?  Yes?  Ok, just checking. 

On a somewhat related note, I think I'm just going to stick with my pretend girlfriends from here on out.  I don't seem to have much luck with the real ones.

Speaking of Pretend Girlfriends....

I just received a text message that included a picture of this magazine cover:

I wonder what it says about me when my sister in law feels the need to text me "news" like this?  Also, I wonder if it's mine? 

Basketball is Basketball

This WNBA promo made me incredibly happy. I've been waiting to see marketing like this for the women's game for roughly eleven years now.  Also, any opportunity I have to see my pretend girlfriend, Becky Hammon, makes me giddy.

In related news, I just realized that I have a lot of pretend girlfriends.