I Needed A Kick In The Ass

Ok, forget the hiatus.  I had a phone conversation earlier that put things in perspective a bit.

Here's the back story.  Brooke is dating Jen again.  Oh yeah, she went back to the psycho.  I'm completely heart broken...blah blah blah.  BUT if I shut down, then I am letting her win.  And I will be fucking damned if I let her control my life.  I'll still be around, spewing my craziness (with a southern accent of course).  But no matter what, I am here...and I do matter.  Whether or not certain people recognize that appropriately, I'm not going away.

It seemed easier to hide in a hole, or drink myself into a stupor, but I'm not really one to just roll over and let life just happen to me.  I had two days of self pity, and I'm over it.  So screw you Jen and your manipulative ways, screw you "depressed me" that didn't want to get out of bed, and screw you cable for not having anything on that I want to watch right now.  But thank you Blogger for introducing me to some really amazing people. 

And Brooke, if you ever happen across this page I hope you know what you gave up yesterday.  I know that probably sounds angry and cocky.  But that's what I feel.  And what's the point of a blog if you're going to sugarcoat shit?



Welcome to the flip side.

I Probably Need Therapy

Really Life & Style magazine? Really?

Apparently you can’t give a little girl a “boy’s” haircut or let her wear pants without the world having a complete meltdown and possibly exploding. Sure the kid has some tomboy tendencies.  According to the article she only responds to the name "John". Which, of course, means there is something deeply wrong with her upbringing, possibly evil, and definitely worth consulting a panel of stylists and psychological experts over.  *rolls eyes*  It had nothing to do with the fact that she wanted to be John or Peter from Peter Pan.  Holy shit the kid has short hair and watches Disney movies...quick, someone alert the media.  Hmm, my 4 year old niece Kambree when in trouble tells us all that it wasn't her, it was Crazy Helen who was bad.  She also refuses to wear pink, and would prefer blue or camouflage (like her PawPaw).  Maybe we should have her evaluated too.  My 3 year old nephew put on his Wolverine costume as soon as he got home last night and refused to take it off.  This child is obviously unhinged.  When I was 3 I was constantly stripping naked just because I hated being in clothes.  Also, I had short hair as a child because I was a pain in the ass and didn't want anyone brushing it.  And there was that one incident where I cut my own hair.  It's a miracle I'm not a nudist hairdresser today.

But back to Life & Style....I wonder if they really think Brad and Angelina are attemping to turn Shiloh into a boy or if this was just all calculated to cause controversy and boost circulation.  I am not linking to the article, but if you wanna read it in it's entirety I'm sure google can help you out. Some of the things that jumped out at me were that they called her haircut “shockingly short” and that it pushes the boundaries into “cross-dresser territory”.  They even quote an “expert,” though I can't stomach calling him that, from of all places Focus on the Family.  I may have to go take a vomit break in a moment.

Are people's views so limited, their definitions so rigid that they can't see that life is wonderful because of our differences...not in spite of them? Life to me, would be unbearable without variation and possibilities and freedom. If a little girl wants to cut her hair short, run around in cargo pants and avoid ruffles like the plague, why should you even care? What is so threatening or scary or wrong with letting children just be themselves? I  personally don't have any children, but I feel that if more people let their kids express themselves freely....wear what they wanted, pursue what they wanted, be who they wanted, love who they wanted...this crazy world of ours might just be the better for it.

Life really is way too short to sweat the small stuff. And a haircut and clothes, well that’s beyond small, it’s microscopic. Am I completely and totally nuts?  I'm curious as to how the parents out there feel about this.

Let's Make A Deal

I got an email the other day regarding my blog.   It wasn't very nice.  I was accused of being "fake" and "a phony"...by a random stranger.  And this was based solely on the fact that I do not have a real picture of myself posted on my blog...and that my real name can't possibly be R.H. Ducky.  While it is true that I am not really a cartoon duck sitting in a bowl of soup, and my name is not in fact R.H. Ducky, I'm fairly certain that doesn't make anything I've written about any less true.  Besides, I think I pretty much covered this little issue with my very first post.  Not that I expect every visitor to my blog to read every single post I have...I'm just sayin' it's there.

At first I was upset by this email...I don't want people to think I'm a phony.  But after I thought about it for a little while I was pretty annoyed by the situation.  First, I'm quite positive I'm not the only person out there blogging under a name other than one on my birth certificate.  WTF difference does it make?  If you don't like my blog, hit that nifty little "Next Blog" button at the top of your screen and move it right along. 

I welcome emails and comments, and I'm fully aware that everyone on the planet is not always going to agree with everything I say or do.  That's fine...disagree with me all you want, the world would be boring if we all had the same thoughts and opinions.  I just ask that you do it respectfully. 

So, let's compromise...I won't call you a douchebag asshole if you refrain from calling me a fake ass whore.  Deal?  Deal.

Really?

Today I have a rant.  I was going to rant on Sunday, but was too pissed off.  Then I was going to rant yesterday, but decided I wanted to think about the topic just a little more.  But the more I think about it, the more confused and angry I get.

This past Saturday night my roommate invited this new guy over to hang out, play some games, have a few drinks.  Cool.  We've been wanting to meet some people in the area.  Well this guy shows up and seemed nice enough at first, but it really didn't take long for him to completely get on my nerves. 

The first sign that we wouldn't get along was the seemingly endless racist jokes.  Seriously, if you have to preface your "joke" with a comment like, "I'm not racist but....", then it's almost guaranteed that you're about to make a racist comment that's going to piss me off.  Also, just because you dated a black woman once doesn't prove to me that you aren't racist.  I mean I dated men once, does that make me straight?  Umm, no.

The next sign that we're not going to BFF's has to do with my name.  Personally I'm not very good with names either, so it didn't bother me at first when he called me by the wrong name.  So I feel he should NOT get all huffy with me when I don't pronounce his name incorrectly.  His name is Derrick, I'm sorry that I said Derrick and not Derrick.   I apologize that I didn't properly stress the last syllable of his name *rolls eyes*...that being said, he should understand my considerable frustration when he called me Ashley, Amanda, Sarah, Megan, and whatever other names were inserted other than my actual name.  I think he started to notice that I was getting annoyed so rather than even make an attempt at remember my name he started referring to me as "the lesbian" or "bitch".  Not cool. 

This brings me to another point.  The roomie and I refer to each other by bitch, hoe, hooker...the list goes on and on.  BUT that is different, he's my best friend, we know each other very well...we know (usually) what's ok and what isn't ok. And we know that it's all in fun.  I met this person like 2 hrs prior and he thinks he is on the same level as my best friend?  Really?  Really?

So the racist jokes and the name thing were annoying.  And now another friend of ours (who happens to be black) comes over.  Derrick at one point won a round of some card game we were playing and literally said, "white power!".  And then later he asked, "where's your hue challenged friend, it's his turn".  I thought my jaw was going to fall off of my face.  Is this guy fucking serious?!? 

By this point I had consumed a few alcoholic beverages and was having a very difficult time holding my tongue.  I decided it was probably a really good time to go outside and have a cigarette.  My roommate could tell I was upset so he came outside to check on me.  I made it clear that I didn't like this guy and that I would prefer if he was asked to leave.  Did that happen?  No.  What did I do?  I was rude to him, made him look foolish a few times, threatened to throw a shot glass at him once (I'm almost positive I wouldn't actually throw a shot glass at another human being), then I finally became frustrated to the point that I decided to remove myself from the situation and go to bed.

David (black friend) actually had fun hanging out with this guy, as did my roommate and his boyfriend.  I could not understand why I was the only one who was offended.   And honestly I don't know exactly what I should have done.  But I damn sure should've told the guy that I was offended instead of just being passive aggressive about the whole situation.  It makes me sad that there is so much hate and anger floating around and rather than try to fix it, I perpetuated it.  Alcohol, you are not always my friend.  The next time I encounter this guy I think I need to have a civilized chat with him about everything that happened, and how I feel about it.


Input and advice would be greatly appreciated.