Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Let's Go To Wally World

(And no, I do not mean Wal-Mart.)

Anyway, today my boss told me that I need to write down what days I want to take vacation in 2010.  Obviously she is not aware that it is still 2009 (barely), and I really haven't planned this weekend much less the whole rest of next year.  Stress.  Basically I pretty much told her that I have absolutely no clue what days I may want off in the coming year...she looked at me strangely and said to just give her an estimate.  Um, ok lady.

I sat and scribbled out a few dates.  I didn't lump them all together, but decided one or two here and there would be better for me.  Call me crazy, but I would freak out if I were away from work for more than a couple of days at a time.  I am insanely unorganized and scattered in my personal life....but I am the polar opposite at work.  It would kill me to even think about what might happen in my absence...holy crap, I am crazy.

So, I took my little list and handed it to her.  As I was walking away she was like, "Where are the rest of the days?".  I was confused.  I wrote down five days.  I've been here a year, I get 40 hrs of vacation time.  That's five days.  Well, apparently the vacation fairies are smiling on me because I was informed that I get 80 hrs of vacation time.  Now, if I could only stop being completely neurotic I could probably take a trip somewhere.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Two Long Weekends In A Row?

I'm back from outer space my long weekend.  Honestly I didn't get a whole lot accomplished over the weekend...but then again I didn't really intend to.  It was nice to have a weekend with no plans, no projects, no obligations, and to have the house completely to myself.  I hung out in my pajamas a lot, watched several movies, read a little, got sucked into a marathon of L.A. Ink, made some really good beef stew, drank beer before noon, stayed up talking to a girl until 4am (PHB, you rock).  All in all a pretty damn good weekend if you ask me. 

Oh, and I finished my Day Zero Project list.  Well, technically not finished I guess...I only have 91 things on my list.  But that was intentional, I wanted to leave myself 10 blank spaces because I'm sure within the next 1001 days I will think of something I want to add to my list.   I don't want to lock all of my goals in right at the beginning.  And besides, I may take suggestions or something like that for a few of them.  I haven't quite decided yet.  Now I really need to figure out a good way to keep all of this organized so I can track my progress.  Wish me luck with that one...organization is not necessarily my strong suit.  Or you may have picked up on that with the whole label issue I'm having.

I have another long weekend to look forward to this week.  I'm pretty sure the powers that be at my job realized it was better to give us the day off than to have us drag our hungover asses in here Friday morning.  Good thinking ladies and gentlemen.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I Have A Plan

Instead of milk and cookies this year I'm leaving out some beer and cookies with a note that says:

Dear Santa,
I can explain...

I wonder if that will work?

And if Santa stops by your house looking like this, then he must've hit my house first.  It'll be my fault if Santa kisses anyone's mommy, or daddy, this year ;) 
But at least he looks happy...maybe Santa is a generous drunk like me.  You can thank me for that later.

I hope you all have a very safe and happy holiday season! I'm taking a break from the good ol' internet for a couple of days...see you all on Monday.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Couple Of Things That Made Me Happy Today

I got the sweetest text message ever today.  It said, "Thx ~ u have always been the sister i didnt have ~ i so wish we were closer (geographically) xoxoxo".  That made me happier than I've been in a really long time...I'm still smiling.  It's nice to know that some people love and care about you...even if you are a screw up at times ;)   

Someone brought the best ever breakfast tacos to work this morning.  I don't know who brought them, or where they came from...but I loved them.  Food makes me happy...that's probably why I'm a skinny fatass.

I just ordered a copy of The Lovely Bones so I can join in on Tammie's Book Discussion.  I've already read this book once...but it was quite awhile ago.  And I'm pretty sure the brain cells that were storing most of the information on this book were drowned in alcohol a long long time ago.  I'm really looking forward to the book discussion.  I'm always amazed hearing other people's interpretation of books.  I find it so interesting to hear what other people took away from a story.  It fascinates me how you could ask 10 different people about something, and you would likely get 10 unique answers.  And I always find myself thinking, "hmm I never thought of that".  I may not agree with every single observation and opinion, but it's still nice to hear thoughts other than the ones rattling around my brain.

I ordered a few more books while I was at it.  Thank you Half.com for having some pretty kickass books for less than a dollar.  I'm going to ignore the fact that I spent around five dollars on books, and around fifteen on shipping.  It was cheaper than me driving an hour to go to the bookstore and purchase them there.  And, I needed some new books for the upcoming Day Zero Project anyway.  Yeah, yeah I could've went to the library...but this way after I'm finished reading I can pass them along to someone else...and that makes me happy.  And really, what's more important than my happiness?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Weekend List

The Good:

~  I got to talk to my favoritest cousin this weekend (don't tell my other cousins I said that)
~  finally raked the yard!  (well the front yard...I refuse to rake the back)
~  every article of clothing I own is washed, dried, and folded/hung
~  the dips/snacks I made were very well received by everyone (I'm so glad my food didn't kill anyone)
~  Russell did not win Survivor.  That arrogant ass doesn't deserve to win anything in my humble opinion.
~  I finished reading Dear John
~  I had a great time seeing a few friends that I haven't hung out with in way too long

The Bad:

~  The Lady Vols are no longer undefeated...Stanford beat them :(
~  Adam is being very argumentative with everyone lately.  I want my precious Adam back.
~  There are still a lot of clothes in my hamper that I need to put away (but they are at least folded)
~  I did not get my Christmas cards sent out.  *sigh*  I don't know what's wrong with my brain, I can't figure out why in the hell I keep putting these things off.
~  I didn't finish my list for the Day Zero Project (I did add to it, just not quite completely finished)
~  I drank way too much Friday night and felt pretty blah most of the day Saturday (but I had fun)
~  Russell did however win the people's choice prize thingy.  WTF is wrong America?  I find it absolutely appalling that his horrid behavior was rewarded with $100.000

The Ugly:

~  Brittany Murphy died!?!  Good gravy, she's the same age as I am...kinda makes you stop and think about things.  My sincere sympathy goes out to her family and friends.  This has really not been a good year for celebrities has it?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Dude, Where's My Camera?

Where did this week go?  Have I seriously only posted one entry this week?  For shame.  I have just been crazy busy.  Luckily things at work are picking up...that breeze you just felt was my massive sigh of relief.  I did take a personal day from work yesterday though to take care of some errands, housework, and what-not.  I even cooked the gay hubs a meatloaf, some peas, mashed potatoes, and gravy.  I know, you're shocked...I'll give you a moment to pick yourself up off the floor....

...better now?  Ok good.

I still haven't raked the yard, but since the sun has finally come back out around here I might get that done this weekend.  I did sweep the driveway and sidewalk yesterday though.  Mostly because when I got home from work Tuesday night I almost broke my ankle when I stepped off the edge of the sidewalk because I couldn't tell where it was...yeah there are that many leaves.  I also completely organized my dresser.  I know that doesn't sound like a huge accomplishment, but it makes me feel better that now I know exactly where whatever article of clothing I happen to be searching for is.  It's the little things that make me happy.  The downstairs was completely dusted, swept, and mopped and looked quite beautiful....until a certain someone came home and walked across it with icky shoes.  I made a few dips and other "party food" type things that could be refrigerated, because we're having people over this evening.  I know, something else domestic...I must have a fever.  Seriously though I'm trying to kind of ease myself into doing this crap (and I say that lovingly) so I'll have an easier time accomplishing my Day Zero Project goals.

I haven't yet completed my list of 101 goals...but I still have time.  I sat down last night armed with a pen and notepad and have every intention of finishing that list...but I don't think I was in the right frame of mind to do it.  I think I still need to add like 50 (I'm guessing) items to my list, and I got a little overwhelmed and thought I should just walk away.  I'm gonna work on that this weekend, and hopefully I will have my full list done and entered by Monday or Tuesday.  But I'm working on it during the weekend, the probability of me having a drink in my hand is very high...should make things interesting. 

Also, I found my camera!!!  It was in my car...and yes it is one of my Day Zero Project goals to avoid having my car get so cluttered with junk.  There have been times that my car pretty much looked like I lived out of it.  Right now though there aren't that many pairs of shoes and almost no clothes in there and absolutely no food or random water bottles.  Now what will I do if I get stranded?!?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Yep, I just squealed that like a really nelly gay man...and there may have been some jazz hands.

I decided that this year instead of making resolutions I'm going to participate in the Day Zero Project.  Here's a bit of info from the website....

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.
My Official Start Date: January 01, 2010
My Finish Date: September 28, 2012 (which is weird because that's my 35th birthday)

I'm pretty excited about this.  I think this is a much more realistic way for me to set, and hopefully acheive, some goals for the next couple of years.  I created a profile and started building my list today.  You can find me in the directory as "ducky"  R.H. Ducky from Texas.  I'm not a huge fan of the website setup and I hope they make some changes/improvements...but I'm loving the general idea of this project.  I'll probably mostly use this blog to update and keep track of everything...I'll just have to see which works better for me. 

You should head over and check it out though.  Let me know what you think.

Friday, December 11, 2009


...I removed all the labels from all of my posts.  So if you're looking for something specific and can't find it, I'm sorry.  But in reality the labels probably weren't much of a help anyway...they were not well thought out at all.  I'm going to work on that, and will have labels back soon at some point.  I might be making a few other tweaks and changes here and there as well.

Is Everyone Really Working For The Weekend?

I know I am.

It's been a rough couple of days...mostly stupid work crap.  I have avoided really writing anything lately because of my resolution to not be bitchy and whiny.  But to sum things up, I feel like my office has turned into Crazytown and I've just been elected Mayor.  Actually no, not the Mayor, more like the Sanitation Department...because I feel as though I've been left to clean up everyone's mistakes.  But at least it's Friday, right?  Bring on the weekend.  Bring on the drinks.  Bring on the 70° highs that are rumored for Sunday.  My Adam has had a pretty craptastic week too, so I'm gonna surprise him this weekend with a few of his favorite meals/snacks.  I'm a good wifey on occasion. 

Here's a list of some of the things that I would like to accomplish this weekend:

 ~ Wash car (I'm totally going to cheat and do the drive-thru thing because it's too effin' cold for me to hand wash the damn thing)

~ Go to Hobby Lobby

~ Go to Merle Norman (I've been wearing the same brand of make-up since I was in high school...I might need to rethink this, it's a bit expensive)

~ Go to the grocery store

~ Go to Lowe's/Home Depot and try to not get overwhelmed by the all the paint colors (I really need to paint my bedroom)

~ Ignore leaves in the yard (because I damn sure am not raking the bastards up)

~ Go to the Post Office and mail Tammie's package

~ Finish Dear John so I can send it to a friend who wants to read it (we saw the preview for the movie when we went to ogle Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner see New Moon and then I happened to run across a copy of the book for $3...we figured it was fate, or somethin')

~ Clean and organize my bedroom (good gravy I am really dreading this one, that's probably a whole weekend project by itself)

~ Laundry (I will never understand how I go through so many clothes in one week.  Seriously, I have got to stick to one outfit per day)

~ Figure out a way to make Adam smile (he's too pretty to be sad)

I'm sure there are about a bazillion other things I need to do, but those things are getting top priority...mostly because they are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.  I just wonder how much of it is going to get accomplished?

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

And Now....The Runaways

Rules:  Choose a band and answer the questions by using song titles from only that band.

Pick an Artist: The Runaways (because I haven't said anything creepy or stalkerish lately and Kristen Stewart probably feels neglected...and Joan Jett is a complete badass)

1.) Are you a male or female?
Little Sister

2.) Describe yourself:
Take It Or Leave It

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
Mama Weer All Crazee Now

4.) Describe your ex boyfriend / girlfriend:
I Love Playing With Fire

5.) Describe how you feel at the moment:

6.) Describe what you are doing now:
Waitin' For The Night

7.) Describe where you want to be:
Strawberry Fields

8.) Your best friend/friends is/are:
Queens of Noise

9.) Your favorite color is:
Black Leather

10.) You know:
I'm A Star

11.) What’s the weather like?
Here Comes The Sun

12.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?
Neon Angels On The Road To Ruin

13.) What is life to you?
Dead End Justice

14.) What is the best advice you have to give?
Let's Party Tonight

15.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Cherry Bomb

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Fashionably Late

My drive to work is looooong.  And thanks to my commute, I get to listen to an abundance of morning radio which provides me with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom.

This morning, for example, I learned a new phrase:  late in life lesbian...no really, I'm not making that up.  Actresses such as Kelly McGillis and Meredith Baxter have recently come out of the proverbial closet and apparently someone has coined yet another new term.  (therapists everywhere rejoice)  Also I just learned about author Susan Gabriel who wrote and self-published a novel, Seeking Sara Summers, which is based loosely on her own experiences with coming out late in life.  I'm pretty sure that one is going on my "to-read" shelf over at Goodreads.  I think it would be fascinating to sit down with some of these women and just chat about this whole late in life lesbian thing.  Then again I pretty much find anyone's "coming out story" fascinating, no matter at what age it happened.  Hmm, actually I think I just like hearing any stories about people's lives....whether they know it or not, people in general are pretty damned interesting.
But anyway, all of this makes me happy.  Not necessarily because there a few more lesbians in the world, but because I wasn't late.  You see, I'm pretty much late to everything.  But not this time...nuh uh, I was an early(ish) in life lesbian.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Good, Bad, And Ugly

here's an update of my weekend in the form of lists...

The Good

 - Adam and Sam got all of the baseboards for downstairs installed (finally!  we've been putting this off since July)
 - The new tiles went down in the bathroom
 - The transition pieces were installed downstairs, so the places where the tiles meets the laminate flooring looks sooo much better
 - The downstairs is completely rearranged.  We have sooo much more space now...I LOVE IT
 - The Christmas tree is put up (and beautiful)

The Bad

 - I didn't get the yard completely raked (but in my defense the yard is pretty effin' big)
 - Sam didn't get the tiles grouted (but in his defense I begged him not to because that would mean I couldn't walk on the bathroom floor for 12 hrs.)
 - While rearranging the furniture downstairs we somehow broke the box thingy that goes to the satellite (the boys missed their Sunday night Fox shows, and I missed the Lady Vols game)
 - I don't have photographic evidence of any of our weekend accomplishments
 - I still can't find my camera

The Ugly

 - I managed to get my vehicle stuck in a ditch this weekend and had to shell out $65 for a tow truck to rescue me.  In related news, I have decided to buy a tow truck.  $65 for 5 minutes of work?!?  I'm all for that.

Friday, December 4, 2009

What Else Do You Have Up Your Sleeve?

Mother Nature and I have a long standing battle going.  You see, I am of the opinion that spring and summer should last waaaay longer than they currently do...and fall and winter should be virtually nonexistent.  Don't get me wrong, I think there should be a tiny bit of fall and winter, just in much reduced increments of time.  It's difficult to be all Thanksgiving-y and Christmas-y if it's 90° outside.  So I get it, really I do...we need some weather variation.
But here's the thing, a few years ago my gypsy spirit (and a hot girl) convinced me that I should move to Denver.  Shortly after this move there was a blizzard.  Not a little snow storm...an actual real live honest to goodness blizzard.  Having grown up in Texas I had never seen a blizzard.  Also I had never driven in a blizzard...let me tell ya, it was not fun.  I drive an SUV, and I honestly thought my vehicle would be good in the snow.  Holy freakin' hell was I wrong.  My car is not some monstrosity, it's on the small side for an SUV, it's fairly light and liked to slide all over the road.  Add to that the fact that it's rear wheel drive and only two wheel drive and you pretty much have a recipe for disaster in the snow.
Next on my list of major complaints...I moved back to Texas in October of last year.  The very same damn day that I got back Hurricane Ike hit.  Now take into consideration that I live very near the Gulf Coast, so needless to say my life was affected.  For about two weeks we lived in a brand new apartment with no electricity, very little food, and no furniture.  I was not amused.
Today Mother Nature decided to throw me yet another curve ball.  It's freaking snowing.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Of course everyone is flipping out, schools are closing, grocery stores are selling out of bread and water, and they are talking about closing our office for the day.  Come on people...it's not even sticking to the ground.  Again, I am not amused.  I don't want to be sent home early, frankly I kinda need the hours and the money.  Not to mention the fact that I drive roughly 100 miles a day to be here, so after we factor in gas and the wear and tear on my vehicle I pretty much should have just stayed in bed this morning. 

So, Mother Nature if you ever give yourself a break from wreaking havoc on my life and take time out to surf the web and read over a few blogs I really hope you happen across mine.  I want you to get this message loud and clear...YOU CAN SUCK IT!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


In case you couldn't tell by this post's title, I'm in a really good mood today.  No, I didn't win the lottery...yet.  But when I got home from work yesterday evening I walked into a nice and toasty warm home.  THE HEATER IN THE HUT IS FUNCTIONING PROPERLY AGAIN!  I am most definitely a summer girl, and having a broken heater was absolutely killing me.  Adam is definitely my hero this week...as is the person he hired to fix it....I really had to fight the urge to give him a big fat hug and a kiss.  Really, I was that excited.
Since we've been grumbling about the hut non-stop for a couple of weeks or so now, we've decided that she's going to get a bit of a makeover this weekend.  Adam is going to go get some pretty new baseboards for downstairs.  Also, the new flooring is going down in the bathroom.  We're completely rearranging the furniture downstairs.  And we're going to rake up all the lovely pine needles that are covering the yard.  So basically the hut is getting a mani/pedi and getting her hair did.

In my mind I'm doing cartwheels right now.  But only in my mind, if I did an actual cartwheel I would most likely injure myself.

*ducky dance* 
(trust me it's so much cooler than the chicken dance)

Monday, November 30, 2009

Over The River And Through The Woods

I had a pretty nontraditional Thanksgiving this year.  I'm accustomed to being either at my family's or whoever I happen to be dating's family or with Munky's family.  This year I was at home alone, and ate some crockpot chili (which was excellent by the way...I would give out a recipe but I don't think me throwing random shit in the crockpot constitutes a recipe).  So, I know that probably sounds kind of sad...and in a way I did miss the whole Thanksgiving thing...but really it was ok.  I got some reading done, I watched a few movies that Adam thinks are "stupid", caught up on laundry, cleaned the house a bit, watched some of the random stuff that has been sitting on the DVR waiting patiently to be viewed, and I played some Wii.  So all in all I had a good day.  Friday evening my grandma called me, the conversation went something like this:

Me:  hello?

Grandma:  sissy? (don't laugh she's called me that all my life)

Me:  hey big dog (you can laugh at that)

Grandma:  so why didn't you come to Thanksgiving little pup (yeah, she's awesome like that)

Me:  umm, I technically wasn't invited and didn't know where ya'll were getting together

Grandma:  aww fiddlesticks you know you don't need an invitation

Me:  so where did ya'll do Thanksgiving?

Grandma:  oh, we all just went out to eat

*so I'm wondering at this point if my grandma thinks I'm psychic and I was just going to magically show up at said restaurant with no invitation
**then the conversation was just normal catching up stuff, so we're going to skip ahead

Grandma:  did you go shopping today, it's Black Friday ya know

Me:  I wanted to go buy a sewing machine, but after thinking about it I decided I didn't want to fight the crowds.  You know I hate shopping.

Grandma:  I didn't go either.  But if you want a sewing machine you can have your mama's, I have it here.  Why don't you come up here and pick it up...I'll bet you'll be just like your mama, you can probably make anything you want on it.  (yep, she got me with promises of a sewing machine and the skillful use of my complete worship of my mom...my grandma is a sneaky one)

I really was trying to avoid the whole family thing this year (that's a long story), but I did end up going to see my grandma yesterday.  It was really nice to see her, I really should try to go visit more often.  Oh, but I still don't have a sewing machine...apparently my other grandma (in Georgia) actually has it.  I guess I'm going to have to go shopping after all.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Umm Thanks

Barely 24 hrs in and I think I have to break my Thanksgiving Resolution.  Damn you work for making me do this.  But umm, all "nonessential" employees got to leave at noon today and were paid until 5:00.  Wow, so really I have to sit here and wait on some jackass to send me some paperwork so I can get my job done.  Do I get double pay for the 5 "extra" hours I am here...I seriously doubt it.

But on the bright side, I do have a job.  And apparently I'm an "essential" employee.  Don't I feel important?  Ok, that wasn't technically a resolution breaker.  I found two things to be thankful for.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving Resolution...Because Some Things Just Shouldn't Wait Until January

So it's that time of year again.  The time when we are all reminded to think about the things we are thankful for.  I've had a FML seriously bitter attitude lately...but when I really stop to think about things I am actually pretty damned lucky.  I may not necessarily see eye to eye with all (ok most) of my family members, but I do have some family that is absolutely amazing.  I may not be rich and live some extravagant life, but I make enough money to survive.  I may not get to see all of my close friends as frequently as I like, but I am fortunate to have pretty spectacular people in my life.  The heater in our house may not work right now, but I do have a roof over my head (and for all of my complaining, I do live in Texas so it isn't really that bad).

I could sit here and come up with a really long list of things that I bitch about on a regular basis, and then I could probably come up with a list more than twice as long of things I am grateful for.  I wonder what it says about me that I've just stopped to consider this right now, right before Thanksgiving?  I'm pretty sure I should start focusing on the more positive aspects of my existence, and attempt to be less selfish and whiny. 

Everyone has bad days, and I'm not going to try to kid myself and say that I'm always going to be a ray of sunshine...but I'm gonna try a bit harder.  That's my Thanksgiving Resolution.  Starting now, I'm giving my blogland buddies permission to (virtually) kick me in the ass whenever I start getting out of control with whining/complaining/bitching.  So there's something for you to look forward this holiday season.

Hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

*ducky hugs*

Friday, November 20, 2009

Undeniable Proof That I Have Way Too Much Time On My Hands

Rather than whining about our broken heater and the $2,800.00 it's going to take to fix it, I've decided to answer some questions.  A whole freakin' shitload of questions actually.  Anyone else who wants to answer them should do so...these things amuse me. 

Do you have any nicknames?
bitch (thanks adam), fat ass (thanks sam), psychohosebeast (thanks amy), and slim (thanks holly)

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
i don't have anyone scheduled. any volunteers?

Do you like to grocery shop?
well, i am a fat ass

Do you do your own laundry?
yes, but only until i win the lottery

Do you watch "The Hills"?
no...are they really alive with the sound of music?

Wearing any bracelets?
always, but i'm short one bracelet...due to my klutziness i broke one of my favorite ones

Last thing you drank?
coffee....caffeine and nicotine is the actual breakfast of champions, just so you know

What were you doing at midnight last night?

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
i enjoy waking up so much that i hit snooze repeatedly just so i can do it several times a day

Are you taller than your mom?
i'm taller than your mom

Do you want to get married and have children one day?
that's not currently on my to-do list...but who knows

Dog or cat person?
normally dogs...but catwoman is pretty hot

Favorite place to shop?
the internet

Ever open a bag of chips in the grocery store and eat them before paying?
oh shit, you're supposed to pay for the food you consume while you're still in the store?!? oops

Do you like being in pictures?
depends on my level of inebriation

Ever been in an ambulance?
considering all the stupid shit i've done in my life i'm pretty shocked that i've never ridden in an ambulance. i do seem to take a ride in the waaaaambulance frequently though

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
it's actually all my natural color

Do you have trust issues?
yeah, and that's just the start of a long list of my issues

What's the first thing you'll do when you turn 18?
do i get to count backwards now? woohoo

Do you smile often?
when people aren't pissing me off i do

Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
i'd take either...and some warm sunshine right about now

Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
no, but i'm pretty convinced that i was indeed adopted

Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
rent would probably be cheaper

Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
several times...and trust me, it's not an easy task for tall people

Are you a loud person?
only when i'm yelling

Do you read?
nope, i've just been guessing which questions you're going to ask me. how am i doing so far?

Are you a fast typer?
yes...mostly because i don't usually bother with the shift key and i couldn't really care less if i have typos.  underachievement at it's finest

How old will you be in five years?
approximately 13,565.25 days old

How tall are you?
180.34 cm

What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
my report card

What time did you wake up today?
i'm still working on it

What are you wearing right now?
boring work clothes...jeans and a company tshirt

Do you like Christmas songs?
omg no! could we please, please, please get some new christmas songs...the current ones have been seriously overplayed

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
are you flirting with me?

What do you like about winter?
that it always eventually ends

How many states/provinces have you lived in?
seven...i think

What is your favorite restaurant?
hooters...j/k i've never actually been there. but their new "more than a mouthful" ad campain makes me giggle like a teenage boy

What is your favorite kind of ice cream?
beef tips w/ gravy

What is your favorite kind of soup?
talk...joel cracks me up

How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
how much water is actually in 12 oz of beer?

Do you know how to play poker?
not really. but that reminds me of a joke...
how do you wake lady gaga up? you poke her face

Have you ever been to Canada?
no, but i have been to a canadian's house.  does that count for anything?

Have you ever gotten stitches?
i'm a klutzy accident waiting to happen...so yes

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
i guess some people might call them that

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
dip me in honey and throw me to the....oh wait, that wasn't an option

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
a precise mixture of bbq and hot mustard

Can you change the oil on a car?
yes. and by yes, i really mean no

What is your usual bedtime?
right after i run out of alcohol

Do you dance in the car?
yeah, a friend of mine showed me how to do the electric slide in the backseat last week

What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
b flat...no, i'm not writing a song, i just need to pick up some new bras

Is it possible that you could be pregnant right now?
they say anything is possible.  but they are wrong.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
mrs. dash

Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
adam and munky know all my dirty little secrets

Do you regret dating anyone you dated?
i've made a few (ok a lot) of bad choices in the dating department

When do you go back to school?
monday...wait, no, that's work

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?
omg i'm answering questions written by high schoolers

Would you say you have an organized bedroom?
i wouldn't say that i have an organized anything

When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
they have mirrors at the grocery store now?

Is your shirt yellow?
no, it's pretty brave

Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait?
patience is a virtue...a virtue i don't possess, so i really wouldn't know

Do you date a boy/girl for looks or personality?
a think a good mix of both is fairly important...being rich doesn't hurt either. kidding. sort of

What did you do yesterday?
i rearranged my sock drawer

When was the last time you had a great day?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Little House On The Prairie?

Nope.  Too many pine trees around here to be a prairie.  As a matter of fact we have like 467 of the 'em in our front and back yards alone.  Ok, so for those of you who haven't noticed I might exaggerate numbers a teeny tiny bit.  Our house is pretty little though, so I guess that part fits.  But from here on out I'm going to refer to our home as "the little hut in the rut".  And just to clarify, when I say our or we, I really mean Adam...you know, since he's the one who actually bought it and all.  I just live there. 

So the house is tiny and older, and oddly shaped.  But in defense of our house, all of the houses in our neighborhood are oddly shaped...we live near a lake and I guess they were going for some summery, vacationy, cottagey, something or other.  I have no clue what the technical architectural term for the style of house we live in is...so I'm gonna stick with odd.

Judging by the carpet and linoleum that was in the house at the time of purchase, I'm going to estimate that the hut was built circa 1973.  There have been some improvements made.  All of the walls have been repainted except for my bedroom (because I can't decided on a color), we redid the all of the flooring downstairs (that's a fun story), and some new appliances/fixtures have been purchased and installed.  So the hut looks much better than it did pre-purchase...but it's still in a rut.  Things that are necessary are starting to break.  There's an issue with the shower, the windows are basically just pneumonia holes that need to be resealed (or whatever you do to windows to make them not leak cold air into the house), and most recently our heater decided to stop working.

The heater issue is what prompted me to write about the hut in the first place.  It took me a long effing time to get around to the point huh?  The other day when I got home from work the house was ridiculously cold...but you have to bear in mind that I'm really cold natured and anytime the temperature dips below like 60° I'm convinced that I'm going to freeze to death.  Adam is really hot natured so in the summer the AC is running full blast, and in the winter the heater doesn't get much of a workout.  Well Adam actually got a little chilly on that particular evening so he turned the thermostat up a bit, and it didn't take us long to realize that cold air was blowing from the vents.  Not cool...well actually it was too cool, but you know what I mean.  At this point Adam decided that he should climb up into the attic crawlspace and take a look at things. 

Adam is not handy...at all...I was pretty terrified by the fact that he was crawling up a metal ladder to fiddle around with electrical stuff.  My job was to hold the ladder steady and hand him tools, and I must say I excelled at that task.  Nobody died, there weren't even any minor injuries...astounding.  But the heater still wasn't working.  Adam's dad came out to take a look at things yesterday after work (which was super sweet because he lives like an hour and half away), he is pretty handy.  But the heater still isn't working.  Hopefully we can get someone to come check it out this weekend.  You know, before hypothermia sets in. 

Until then I am going to wear 7 layers of clothes, wrap up in a blanket, and drink lots of vodka.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

All Work And No Play?

I've had another super productive day at work. 

I made this:
<---That is an Excel spreadsheet that has all of the TN Lady Vols regular season games...the opponent, where they are playing, time, whether it's televised, score, and their record.  I'm not nutty about all sporting events...but I do love me some Lady Vols basketball...and I get a wee bit out of control....and I wear alot of orange and blue.

I received this:
<---That is a birthday card.  It's not my birthday.  My birthday is in September.  It is still really cute and made me smile.
I did this:
<---That is a binder clip gymnast that I made.  Complete with mat, vault, and the whole landing area.  Yeah, I'm not too down with the gymnastics lingo.  But look at that landing!  My gymnast stuck it.
I did this: 
<--- That is a binder clip cheerleader.  She cheers for the binder clip gymnast.

I also managed to squeeze in some blog reading, went to lunch with some coworkers, and even found time to do some actual work.  And I get paid for this.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Cleaning Out My Closet

Since I've decided to work on having a happier and healthier body (for some reason the video to Olivia Newton-John's "Physical" just popped into my head), I figure I should probably work on having a happier and healthier mind too.  I have come to the conclusion that I watch entirely too much television and seriously need to get back to reading more.  Being a reality show addict will really only get me so far in life.

The problem with this decision to read more is that books can be somewhat expensive to buy...and I have limited space to store all the books that I read.  Of course what I would like to do is buy an ebook reader and purchase my books at significantly reduced prices and have them stored on one nifty little device.  Is this financially practical for me at this juncture?  No.  Damn you Barnes & Noble for making me want the Nook when I can't justify spending $259.00 for it.  And damn you Amazon for taunting me with the Kindle.  Option two would be too get all of my books from the library for the lovely price of free.  This is perfect for some titles, but since I live in rural East Texas this is not a viable option for all of the books on my to-read list.  I have recently come across a few websites that are set up kinda like a "netflix for books", this idea intrigues me.  However, I don't know of anyone who has ever used any of these sites, so I'm not sure if that's the best solution either. 

I would love to one day maybe start some sort of book swap thing of my own up, and I think I could probably come up with a few fun ideas for that, but honestly I don't think I have the time/energy to invest in that project at the moment.  I really wouldn't want to half-ass it, so I'm just going to keep that idea percolating in the back of my mind for now.  But once I get my Courier, watch out world.

In the meantime, I'm gonna wait for my copy of Truly, Madly: A Novel that I won in a giveaway over at Goodreads.  I'm not sure that this is a book I would ever see in a bookstore and think, "omg I have to read that"...but I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Also, if anyone is interested in any of the books that are lying around taking up space in my glorified closet of a bedroom, I will gladly box them up and send them out to you.  It makes me sad to get rid of books, but the reality of my life right now is that things are just getting too cluttered.  I've given away a ton of books and random things that were sitting around looking sad and unused to various friends already, so the pickings are slim...but really, how can you turn down a box of random ass free shit?

Monday, November 16, 2009

I Was Living The High Life....Or Somethin'

Since the "town" I live in has a population of roughly 559 it's not surprising that I get bored...frequently.  It's a good thing that I'm easily amused. 

Friday evening on my home from work I called Adam and asked him if he needed me to stop and pick anything up on my way in.  He wanted new sponges for the kitchen.  Umm, ok...I was beginning to worry that our weekend was going to be less than entertaining for me.  Using my powers of persuasion I convinced him that alcohol would be more fun...actually it really wasn't that difficult to persuade him.  But anyway, when I went into the store I couldn't help but notice that Miller has some 16oz. cans of their High Life variety of beer in freakin' camouflage cans.  Of course I couldn't resist buying them because I just HAD to show someone, and both my camera and phone were left in the car.

I have a question for whoever is in charge of this little project over at Miller.  Ok, so on this very can it says, "The Champagne of Beer".  Who thought it was a good idea to put "the champagne of beer" in a camouflage can?  That just seems like flawed logic to me.  Granted, I did drink one of these and "champagne of beer" is not necessarily the first thing my taste buds were screaming.  You might want a new logo.  Just sayin'

So now I have to wonder...is this strictly a backwoods Texas thing?  Are these camo cans in other states?  And most importantly, did I really move here on purpose?

Friday, November 13, 2009

Whacky Doodle Dandy

Astroglide, that's what I'm going to start calling my oddball over-sharing coworker.  Because really K-Y was just too obvious.  For anyone who didn't catch yesterday's post, this batshit crazy lady that I work with was compelled to tell me about her dried up hoo-ha.  I believe her exact words were, "I can't find a boyfriend because I'm dry...you know, down there".
This particular conversation fascinated me.  Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no interest at all in this chicks bits and pieces.  BUT I do find it absolutely amazing that this woman, who I barely know, decided to bestow this information upon me.  I'm also curious as to how this particular problem prevents her from finding a boyfriend.  Unless of course she randomly volunteers this information to potential dates...which I could really see her doing now that I think about it.

I also have a couple of other issues with Astroglide...
~ she got all of her hair chopped off and then told me that we were "twinkies".  Umm, no we're not freakshow.  First off, I have naturally straight hair and she has naturally curly hair (which she doesn't straighten).  Second, my hair is cut in a bob (according to my sister in law a "bitch bob"...longer in the front and stacked in the back) while Astro's hair looks kinda like my grandma's, which would be nowhere even remotely similar to my hair.
~ on two separate occasions she has actually touched my hair.  That was pretty weird.  Call me crazy but I have an aversion to people that I don't really know touching any part of me.
~ she offers me a Diet Coke at least two or three times a week.  Each time I politely tell her that I do not like Diet Coke and decline.  She then tells me that she has to drink Diet Coke because she is diabetic.  Seriously, I think she has told me she drinks Diet Coke because she's diabetic 973,426 times since she's started working here.

One day I'm going to snap, and it's not going to be pretty.  I can see it now, I'll go into full on Tourettes mode and start screaming about Diet Coke, granny hair, lube, and twinkies...then I will just sit in the corner chanting "please don't touch me, please don't touch me" while slowly rocking back and forth.  Should be entertaining.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Boring Days and Things You Just Can't Un-hear

Wow, today has been incredibly slow and boring at work today....well, things have been incredibly slow and boring all week for that matter. *crosses fingers that there are no new lay-offs coming*

During my time of boredom I have:

- googled a lot of random shit
- smoked too many cigarettes
- cruised around a few other blogs on here
- tried to determine what my new hobby should be
- found a cute website on origami
- decided that my new hobby probably should not be origami...

- and based on the above photo, I'm also going to rule out photography
- ran across a post on Tammie's blog that has me wanting to learn to sew
- was told by a coworker (that I don't particularly care for) that she can't find a boyfriend because she is dry..."down there"  *shudder*.  Honestly when she first said dry, I immediately thought she meant her sense of humor or something.  I really want to go soak my brain in bleach right now.
- had another failed attempt at explaining the difference between rows and columns to a different coworker.  I really wanted to advise this chick to just stay the hell away from Excel. 
- password protected all of my Excel files so the above mentioned coworker can't possibly screw around with them.
- found an awesome coupon on Hobby Lobby's website for 40% off any one item of regular price.  Since I get paid tomorrow maybe I will go do a little shopping
- considered options for fun things to do this weekend
- decided that I will probably drink too much alcohol this weekend
- convinced one of the chicks in the Engineering Dept. to sauter my broken bracelet
- shortly after receiving repaired bracelet I caught it on a door handle and rebroke it
- won a game of Minesweeper

-wrote writing a blog entry

Now I just have to figure out what to do the remaining 39 or so minutes left in my workday.  What a productive day I've had.  I'm tired.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

And I Didn't Even Prepare A Speech...

Tammie recently gave me some awards.  I'm fairly new to this whole blogging thing and have never gotten an award before, so I really just had a moment of giddiness.  Yeah, I'm a dork.

The rules of the Honest Scrap award state that I have to share ten honest things about myself, so here goes:

1.  I look for patterns and signs in everything...I mean literally everything. I'm not sure why, but I know that it comforts me. I've really only talked extensively about this to two people...one of them thinks I'm completely delusional.

2.  When I'm nervous, scared, or worried I joke around a lot.  Many people have taken this to mean that I just simply don't care and am never serious about anything.  This is completely untrue...I am super sensitive and feel things deeply and intensely, I think I use humor (possibly inappropriately) as a defense mechanism.  There have been times when I have wanted to comfort people who were hurting and I just felt too awkward or uncomfortable and made some dumbass joke and ended up causing more harm than good.  Sometimes humor has helped to alleviate tension, but usually it just makes me seem like an uncaring ass.

3.  I have freakishly small feet considering how tall I am.  I am pushing 6' real hard, but I only wear a size 7.5 or 8 shoe.  I am convinced this is why I'm such a klutz.  My feet are just too dang small to balance me. 

4.  I don't really like sweets.  I never have, even when I was a kid.  I might get a craving for cheesecake every now and then, but that's about it.  When I was little my mom the Easter Bunny used to always put books and puzzles and such in my Easter basket because I would never eat the candy.

5.  I have been single for almost a year now (there has been dating, but no serious long term relationship)...and I'm very proud of that.  I've always been pretty independent in a sense...but for some reason I always panicked if I was single.  So, I have always had a really bad habit of jumping from horrible relationship to horrible relationship.  [insert U-Haul jokes here] 

6.  I almost got married once...to a man.  He treated very well, was charming, polite, and ridiculously handsome.  My family adored him, and really encouraged the whole marriage thing.  I knew that's what was expected of me...but I also knew that marrying him just didn't feel right.  So instead I joined the Air Force.

7.  While in the Air Force, at tech school, I met my first girlfriend.  We became victims of the "Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy" after her roommate ratted us out to our squadron commander.  My military career ended shortly after.

8.  I am envious of people who are all creative and crafty.  I love Hobby Lobby and stores like that.  I can lose hours just wandering around in them thinking of all the possibilities.  I will have hundreds of ideas just rattling around in my brain...but then when it comes time to settle on just one I get overwhelmed and generally leave with nothing to show for the time I've spent browsing.  I think I need a good entry level hobby.

9.  I think I am part gypsy.  I can never seem to live anywhere for more than a couple of years before I start getting all antsy.  I love moving to new places, seeing new things, learning new things, meeting new people.  It's such an adventure.  My favorite place I've ever lived is probably Colorado...if it weren't for the damned winters I would possibly be content to live there forever.

10.  There are days when I really yearn to have children.  There are days when the gay husband really yearns to have children.  So far we've had these yearnings on different days.  If our biological clocks ever line up the world is in deep shit.

Not sure how interesting that was but those are my truths for the day. 

Oh, and happy Veteran's Day to those that served before, beside, and after me.  (and yes I realize the whole "beside me" portion of that statement doesn't span a large chunk of time, but I don't really consider that my fault)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Act As If

Ok, so I'm going to do a quick update on my whole medical status and then I'm going to be finished with that subject. 
So, Doctor #1 (who I liked and trusted) told me that all my blood work was completely jacked up and I needed to see a specialist...she referred me to a hematologist.
Doctor #2 (who was a jackass) told me that all my blood work was completely normal and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.  I protested this opinion and pointed out the fact that I am still fatigued and getting mystery bruising and whatnot.  I swear on my freakin' life this man told me to sleep more and to try to not bump into things.  I was irate to say the very least.
I then decide to call Doctor #1 back and ask her opinion.  I spoke to a nurse in her office who told me that she would speak with the doc and they would call me back later that day.  The next day I still hadn't heard anything so I called again.  This was almost a week ago.  I have now also lost faith in the doctor that I liked and trusted.  I'm over it.

This past weekend I was inspired, I watching movies with the boys (gay husband and his boyfriend), and we ended up watching Boiler Room.  There was a part in the movie where Ben Affleck's character says (caution foul language ahead), "Act as if you are the fucking president of this firm. Act as if you have a nine inch cock. Act as if."  I'm taking that to heart...well, not the president of the firm or 9" cock thing....but I'm going to act as if.  I'm going to act as if I'm the happiest, healthiest person on the planet.  So screw you doctors, screw you tiredness and bruising, and screw you blood work.  I'm really fucking stubborn and you will not win, because I said so.

And as a side note, I think I'm also going to act as if I know the winning lotto numbers.  Cha-Ching

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I guess the grass is pretty green over here too

All the cheese is gone, so I'm gonna put away the whine too.  I had a conversation last night that put things in perspective for me.  So rather than dwell on the things that are upsetting me, today I'm gonna think about what I'm looking forward to and what I'm grateful for.  Wow, maybe all the cheese isn't gone, even as I typed that I was saying to myself, "damn that sounds cheesy". 

I am super excited that the college basketball season is finally rolling around.  The Lady Vols have their first game (exhibition) tonight vs. Carson-Newman.  That means it's officially time to change my ringtone to "Rocky Top" and start praying that the "Baby Vols" don't give me a heart attack this year.  As per usual Pat has put together the toughest schedule in women's college basketball.  I love that even though the AP has ranked them at 8 (the lowest since 1985 for the Lady Vols) she's not afraid to test her team against the best of 'em.

I am hoping that next weekend I can make the trek to the Austin area to see my dear cousin, PsychoHoseBeast.  I haven't seen her in way way way too long.  I giggle inside when I think of all the adventures, and misadventures we've shared.  Let me tell ya, we have some stories...and I do believe it's high time to have a new adventure, make some new memories, and get started on some new stories.

Also, I am still salivating over the rumored Microsoft Courier!  Need. One. Now.  Thank you Gizmodo for first leaking info on my dream gadget...and for continually getting me more and more excited about it.  Seriously, I google the shit out of this thing and am overjoyed when I see a new article. 

I mean really, can't you imagine how productive I would be with this thing?  It makes me giddy just thinking about it.

I am also happy to report that the husband didn't throw a massive fit when the Phillies lost last night.  I really thought we were going to have another "Mavericks Moment", like during the NBA playoffs.  But not one thing got thrown or broken, there was no jumping off the couch and screaming, there weren't really even that many expletives uttered.  For a gay man he sure is passionate about sports : )

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine

I really feel as though I've been taking a ride in the wambulance all week.  Seriously, all I've done is whine, complain, and cry for the past several days.  I'm starting to get on my own nerves.  I really feel sorry for the gay husband, but he has been incredibly supportive, patient, and just all-around adorable. 

I still feel all tired and run down and just icky in general.  My doc sent me to a specialist and the only thing "special" about him is that he is a complete douchebag.  He is the type of doctor who makes my fear of doctors seem rational.  He was just very cold and made me feel extremely uncomfortable.  I swear this man acted annoyed that I was in his office.  But anyway, he examined me and ordered some more blood work...so the waiting continues.
This is exactly the reason why I don't normally even go to the doctor.  Generally I try to practice the whole mind over matter thing and just try to will away whatever happens to be bothering me.  Then I take a shit ton of vitamin c or something and hope for the best.  I'm kind of regretting going to the doctor in the first place.  Maybe I would just rather not know if I'm sick.  Is that crazy?

Oh, and Dad, if you ever happen to run across my blog I want you to know how completely awesome it was for you to move to a whole different state and not tell me.  You, sir get the Father of the Year Award.  Not.  And my older brother should get an award for telling me, "sorry, but I have more important things going on right now".

Friday, October 30, 2009

I am going to try to avoid dating bottle rockets in the future

Who's been neglecting their blog?  I have!  I have! 
Yeah, so I'm in a really weird mood today.  Feeling kinda goofy...which is good because I've felt quite crappy most of the week.  Wow, I really haven't posted anything since before last weekend. 

I went to Freaker's Ball last Friday...which was amazingly great.  Ok, I won't lie the end of the evening gets pretty fuzzy for me...but still, I had a blast!  Yay for rock music, and yay for alcohol.
Saturday the pull of homecoming and the Duck Dash won over so I drove three and a half hours out of my way to go to those festivities.  Also had a fabulous time there. 
Sunday I had a lunch with an ex of mine.  That was really nice, and kinda sad.  After lunch I got to see my old roommate and some friends that I hadn't seen in forever.  I also was told, "you should stop dating straights, crazies, and bottle rockets".  Yeah, some of my friends smoke pot.  Then I had to start my drive back home...and almost cried.  I really hate driving...I am a much better passenger.

This week has been rather eventful as well...but not in the fun way.  Lately I have felt just completely run down and just blah...I would say this has been going on for like a month.  For the past two weeks I have been getting these random mystery bruises on my legs and feet.  Tuesday I finally talked myself into going to the doctor (I am really terrified of doctors).  My doctor was really cute baffled by my symptoms and ordered all sorts of blood work.  That was a fun adventure because apparently I have tiny veins and it took three nurses and a butterfly needle before they could extract enough blood from me.  This leads me to believe that I am not feeling well because I don't actually have any blood in my body.  The cute chick in the white coat doctor was amused but decided that my self diagnosis was unlikely.  *shrugs* 
The blood work came back yesterday and apparently none, that's right NONE, of my tests are normal.  So now I have to go to a hematologist.  GREAT, just what I wanted, I get to see another doctor.  Blah.

Also yesterday Mother Nature remembered that she hates me so she sent a horrible torrential downpour my way.  It took me three hours to drive the 47 miles from my office to my home...and you have to understand I live in the country, so 47 miles should take roughly 40 minutes and 52 seconds (unless of course you have to slow down to avoid deer, cows, or tractors).  I don't have to contend with traffic jams of the "normal" variety.  I arrive home to a frantic gay husband, who is trying desperately to keep water from flooding the downstairs of our home.  He did a pretty damn good job...I am soooo glad that the new flooring we put down over the summer didn't get ruined.  Our garage was not quite so lucky though.

I did get a nice surprise in the mail on Wednesday, my wonderful cousin (PsychoHoseBeast) sent me a book.  She's the bestest most goodest cousin in the world!  I can't wait to start reading it this weekend.

I am really hoping for a nice, peaceful, restful weekend.  I wish you all a safe and Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

How many frequent flyer miles do I get for flying by the seat of my pants?

Tomorrow morning I will be headed towards Grand Prairie to meet up with some friends and head to the Freaker's Ball.  I'm so freakin' excited I can barely contain myself!  I fully intend on drinking a ridiculous amount of alcohol, smoking too many cigarettes, acting irresponsibly, and just rocking out with my....well just rocking out.

I haven't exactly figured out what I'm gonna do on Saturday.  I have several friends in the Dallas area that I haven't seen in way too long.    BUT a friend of mine in the Houston area has requested that I help her build/decorate a beer pong/flip cup table (I can be crafty when the end result is a drinking game).  AND it's also homecoming at the university that I used to work for, so I was thinking about swinging by there and seeing some of my former coworkers...then I could go to Duck Dash (which of course I adore).

I suck at making decisions.  *sigh*  I suppose I'm gonna pull a Julia Roberts Vivian Ward and just fly by the seat of my pants.

*Quack Quack*

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lists are good...and bad...and ugly

I've attempted a couple of times to write a post, and I seem to just ramble incoherently...so today you get lists...

The Good:

- A long lost friend came to visit me Monday.  I'm still recovering.

- Someone brought doughnuts to work today...and there were the cake ones that aren't all crazy sweet.

- I am super excited that I get to go see Alice in Chains with a long lost dear friend of mine on Friday.

- I am super excited that I have the whole day off work Friday.  Three day weekends are awesome.

- I just realized that there's a Facebook app upgrade for BlackBerry that fixed my issues with iPhone peeps.

The Bad:

- I just used 30 minutes of my life in an attempt to explain the difference between a row and a column to a coworker.  *slaps forehead in frustration*

- Accidentally calling people when you're having sex is embarrassing.  When it's a coworker it's absolutely mortifying.  Thanks coworkers who have given me hell all week!

- On part of my day off on Friday I have to go to the Dept of Transportation to get a new ID...icky

- I can't post comments to the Facebook statuses of iPhone users?  What the fudgesicle?  iPhone gets an app upgrade and my Facebook world has to fall apart?  Not cool.

The Ugly:

- All of the news coverage of the Heene family is getting on my last nerve.  A hoax used as a publicity stunt is rewarded with publicity.  Sheesh.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Today I have a rant.  I was going to rant on Sunday, but was too pissed off.  Then I was going to rant yesterday, but decided I wanted to think about the topic just a little more.  But the more I think about it, the more confused and angry I get.

This past Saturday night my roommate invited this new guy over to hang out, play some games, have a few drinks.  Cool.  We've been wanting to meet some people in the area.  Well this guy shows up and seemed nice enough at first, but it really didn't take long for him to completely get on my nerves. 

The first sign that we wouldn't get along was the seemingly endless racist jokes.  Seriously, if you have to preface your "joke" with a comment like, "I'm not racist but....", then it's almost guaranteed that you're about to make a racist comment that's going to piss me off.  Also, just because you dated a black woman once doesn't prove to me that you aren't racist.  I mean I dated men once, does that make me straight?  Umm, no.

The next sign that we're not going to BFF's has to do with my name.  Personally I'm not very good with names either, so it didn't bother me at first when he called me by the wrong name.  So I feel he should NOT get all huffy with me when I don't pronounce his name incorrectly.  His name is Derrick, I'm sorry that I said Derrick and not Derrick.   I apologize that I didn't properly stress the last syllable of his name *rolls eyes*...that being said, he should understand my considerable frustration when he called me Ashley, Amanda, Sarah, Megan, and whatever other names were inserted other than my actual name.  I think he started to notice that I was getting annoyed so rather than even make an attempt at remember my name he started referring to me as "the lesbian" or "bitch".  Not cool. 

This brings me to another point.  The roomie and I refer to each other by bitch, hoe, hooker...the list goes on and on.  BUT that is different, he's my best friend, we know each other very well...we know (usually) what's ok and what isn't ok. And we know that it's all in fun.  I met this person like 2 hrs prior and he thinks he is on the same level as my best friend?  Really?  Really?

So the racist jokes and the name thing were annoying.  And now another friend of ours (who happens to be black) comes over.  Derrick at one point won a round of some card game we were playing and literally said, "white power!".  And then later he asked, "where's your hue challenged friend, it's his turn".  I thought my jaw was going to fall off of my face.  Is this guy fucking serious?!? 

By this point I had consumed a few alcoholic beverages and was having a very difficult time holding my tongue.  I decided it was probably a really good time to go outside and have a cigarette.  My roommate could tell I was upset so he came outside to check on me.  I made it clear that I didn't like this guy and that I would prefer if he was asked to leave.  Did that happen?  No.  What did I do?  I was rude to him, made him look foolish a few times, threatened to throw a shot glass at him once (I'm almost positive I wouldn't actually throw a shot glass at another human being), then I finally became frustrated to the point that I decided to remove myself from the situation and go to bed.

David (black friend) actually had fun hanging out with this guy, as did my roommate and his boyfriend.  I could not understand why I was the only one who was offended.   And honestly I don't know exactly what I should have done.  But I damn sure should've told the guy that I was offended instead of just being passive aggressive about the whole situation.  It makes me sad that there is so much hate and anger floating around and rather than try to fix it, I perpetuated it.  Alcohol, you are not always my friend.  The next time I encounter this guy I think I need to have a civilized chat with him about everything that happened, and how I feel about it.

Input and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I like to think outside the bun

So when my Taco Bell Border Sauce packet asked, "Will you marry me?", I seriously considered saying yes.

Sorry, for the truly craptastic photo...the camera on my phone and I do not get along so well.