Wednesday, June 9, 2010

This Has Gotten Out Of Hand

So, I've been eating/drinking pretty consistently crappily (is that even a word?) since, well, forever...and lately I've been on a serious brain junk-food overload as well. It started out slow and all innocent, just reading a few mysteries, and watching a few reality shows. But my brain is all bloated and lazy and mushy now, I don't want to pick up a "real" novel that has heft, substance, or heaven forbid complex sentence structure. So, instead, I've spent the last couple of months playing. Horrible TV and alcohol binges for the most part, though I threw in some mindless gossip rags and several games of pool for good measure. That certainly has my brain functioning at peak form.

Now I think it might be time for me to get back to my Day Zero Project.  I checked on my progress, and my list is now 15% completed....better than the 9% I last reported, but still really damn embarrassing.  I need to feel like a somewhat productive member of society again.  And trust me, I've tried to convince myself that partying = productivity...but even drunk me didn't believe that load of crap.  I've been searching for songs/videos to keep me motivated during my latest endeavor.  The following video will be my inspiration...

aww, come on...I haven't said anything about my favorite pretend girlfriend in at least a five or six days, and the song does say "work" in it ;)

*also, please note that I somehow made this video fit in the appropriate amount of space.  I'm not exactly sure how I did that...but I'm still proud of myself.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Life Swap

I love Sandra Bullock acceptance speeches.  At the MTV Movie Awards she was presented with the Generations Award.  During her speech she said she wanted Betty White's life.  Well, Sandra, after seeing you kiss Meryl Streep and now this...

...I want your life.  Well except the whole lying, cheating, scumbag husband part.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I Needed A Kick In The Ass

Ok, forget the hiatus.  I had a phone conversation earlier that put things in perspective a bit.

Here's the back story.  Brooke is dating Jen again.  Oh yeah, she went back to the psycho.  I'm completely heart broken...blah blah blah.  BUT if I shut down, then I am letting her win.  And I will be fucking damned if I let her control my life.  I'll still be around, spewing my craziness (with a southern accent of course).  But no matter what, I am here...and I do matter.  Whether or not certain people recognize that appropriately, I'm not going away.

It seemed easier to hide in a hole, or drink myself into a stupor, but I'm not really one to just roll over and let life just happen to me.  I had two days of self pity, and I'm over it.  So screw you Jen and your manipulative ways, screw you "depressed me" that didn't want to get out of bed, and screw you cable for not having anything on that I want to watch right now.  But thank you Blogger for introducing me to some really amazing people. 

And Brooke, if you ever happen across this page I hope you know what you gave up yesterday.  I know that probably sounds angry and cocky.  But that's what I feel.  And what's the point of a blog if you're going to sugarcoat shit?

Welcome to the flip side.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be taking a break from the blog for awhile.  I don't feel like I have anything to left to share or offer at the moment.  I have to work through a few things, then I might be back around.

I'll see ya on the flip side.

*ducky out*

Thursday, June 3, 2010

More Theories, Less Work

After wasting dedicating a bit of time earlier today to my theories on my pretend girlfriend being a closet case, I scoured the internet to find something else to occupy my time.  Because, you know, work just wasn't entertaining enough. 

I found this article on Daniel Baldwin.  I am now convinced that Alec has convinced Daniel to move to Oregon so that he can visit and accidentally bump into Tammie.  I'm also pretty sure I should start applying for jobs as a soap opera writer.

*side note:  I spent way too much time looking for a picture of Alec & Daniel together before giving up and going with this one...obviously I need to work on my Google skills.

Next, I decided that my blog needed a little fixing up.  I wanted to change my header, so I played around with that for no avail.  I really am not very tech savvy, and couldn't produce anything that was even remotely in the realm of being something that I would put on my blog.  And I put some really dumb shit on my use your imagination, multiply that by about 673 and you'll have a general idea of how craptastic it was.  I settled for relabeling all of my past posts.  I am not saying they are labeled well, nor am I saying that I labeled all of them...but I gave it a valiant effort.

Oh look, it's 4:57 that gives me just enough time to shut my computer down and go smoke a cigarette before heading home.

*ducky hugs*

No Need To Panic

Well well well...looks like my little K-Stew is getting some advice from former co-star Jodie Foster.  According to the article in People magazine Jodie told Kristen, "You know, you could learn a thing or two from me".  In my version of reality, this means that she's gonna show her the way out of the closet....and then she's going to introduce her to me.

exhibit a:
This is where Jodie is obviously arguing the merits of just being yourself.

exhibit b:
Kristen sees the wisdom of Jodie's words...which makes Jodie, and me, happy.

exhibit c:

And the most compelling evidence I have...Jodie huddled in a closet (ok, panic room) with Kristen circa 2002.

This either makes me a genius, or completely delusional...either way I was entertained for a good chunk of time when I was supposed to be working.

*hat tip to Peggy for sending me the link to the article

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A Little Of This, A Little Of That

Hmm maybe I jinxed 'em.  The Seattle Storm handed the Dream their first loss of the season last night.  Sorry 'bout that Shalee...but really Sue Bird has been my pretend girlfriend for much longer. 

Also, I would just like to state that Jane Lynch aka Sue Sylvester cracks me up.  Here's a quote from last night's episode:  "You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent."  I'm a bit saddened that next week is the season finale of Glee.  Thank goodness for basketball season.

On a more personal note, I can barely move today.  I only thought I was sore yesterday.  Sooooo, I either need attempt wakeboarding more frequently....or just stop.  Intermittently wakeboarding getting dragged behind a boat while a wakeboard is strapped to my feet, is not a good idea obviously.  I have sore muscles in places that I didn't know I had muscles.

My nephew isn't having a good day today.  I think the little munchkin is pretty sore too.  Apparently he was all hopped up on his pain medication last night and thought it would be a good idea to get out of bed and run around the house like a maniac.  It's really difficult to explain the benefits of resting and being still while recovering to a 3 yr old.  He is also very upset that he hasn't gotten to go on the boat/swim in "foreber"...the effects that lake germs have on gaping wounds also make no sense to him. 

This song is currently stuck in my head.  Thank you Doria Roberts for being freakin' awesome...

If this song gets stuck in your head, you're welcome....unless you hate it, and then I have to question your musical taste and/or sanity, but I still won't be sorry ;)

*waddle waddle, quack quack*

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

I love, love, love (did I mention love?) long weekends.  Thank you Memorial Day for letting me drink myself into a stupor on Monday rather than having to work.  Fun times.  I attempted wakeboarding again, and obviously this is not the sport for me.  I suck on a monumental level...and I am pretty sore and bruised all over.  Awesome.  I'm still trying to convince myself that this is not because I'm getting younger brother is not helping matters though since he now refers to me as "the senior citizen".  He's so precious.

What was not so fun about the weekend?  My poor little nephew, Mason, had to have surgery.  He has MRSA which is basically a really fucking badass staph infection.  They sliced and diced his little leg almost to the bone to get all of the infection out.  I would post a pic, but in all honesty the cut made me gag a little bit, and I really don't want it on my blog for all eternity.  He is back home, resting and recovering.  I feel bad for the little guy...the docs said he doesn't need to walk until at least Thursday, and it's getting hard for the 3 year old to sit still. 

And now I will ramble about basketball for just a moment.  The Atlanta Dream is impressing the hell out of me this year...they are off to a 6-0 start this year.  The Dream are an expansion team that started in 2008...that year they only won 4, that's right 4, games.  Last year they improved to 18-16 which I thought was pretty incredible.  And this year they are the only undefeated team in the WNBA.  That being said the San Antonio Silver Stars and the Seattle Storm are still my favorite teams.  BUT I am glad that I finally live in the general vicinity of a WNBA team, maybe I'll get to catch a game or two this season.  Also, thank you Dream for providing me with my pretend girlfriend of the day....

Shalee Lehning