I Am Cheating On K-Stew With E-Shue

So, remember the other day when I said that living at the lake was going to be ridiculously fucking awesome?  I was right.  This weekend was insane.  We had soooooo much fun.  There were a few mishaps...but all in all we had a good time.

Friday night it was just me and Sandy hanging out.  We headed downstairs to the play room and shot several games of pool...and took several shots...then we watched Steel Magnolias until the sad part then we changed the channel.  Neither of us wanted to cry.  Unfortunately for me I managed to find the last shard of glass from the broken margarita machine, and got it lodged in my foot.  Sandy is an excellent nurse, she dug it out and bandaged me up...after that mishap we decided it was time for bed.  That night was relatively low-key by our standards.

Saturday morning we woke up pretty early.  Probably too early, because by 9:30 that morning we started drinking.  Smart idea?  Maybe not.  Several members of Sandy's family came over Saturday afternoon...we grilled some food, hung out on the dock where Sandy got a splinter stuck in her foot, took a boat ride, drank a little, played some pool, and just had a nice time.  Around 8pm Sandy, her mom, and her sister decided that they NEEDED to go get tattoos.  I have managed to lose my ID, so Aunt Alicia got to spend a few quality hours with all the children.  So that means it was me against 5 kids...I had two of Bradley and Sandy's, two of Sandy's sister, and one of Sandy's sister's boyfriend.  I seriously had an Adventures In Babysitting moment...I was also totally reminded of my crush on Elizabeth Shue.  At a few points in the evening I wanted to shout, "Don't fuck with the babysitter"....but I refrained.  I let the kids run around like maniacs for awhile and then convinced them all that it would be a really good idea to go to bed.  I honestly can't believe they minded me...I still haven't perfected my "mommy voice", and they have a tendency to not listen to a damn thing I say.  I really was thrilled that I didn't have to fight them too much at bedtime.  The adults all got back and we decided it would be a great idea to have a bonfire.  We ran out of wood, so we got a bit creative about what we burned.  *sorry about your flip flops Bradley...we aren't sorry about that ugly ass rug though*  At this point I was exhausted so I totally crashed.

Sunday I woke up to maniac children yelling and jumping all over me.  Fabulous!  I stumbled upstairs and had some breakfast and then collapsed on the couch...Sandy and Bradley went to take a nap.  Sandy's sister looked at me at one point and asked me, "do you hear water running?".  I did not hear water running.  About five minutes later she said, "no really I hear water running".  As lazy as I was feeling I decided I should probably get up to investigate.  I walked to the bathroom by the boys room, and found the problem.  Little Max had several diapers stuffed in the toilet and had tried to flush them.  Awesome!  The whole room was flooded.  That was a bitch to clean up.  I'm still trying to figure out how he got the diapers off the changing table...he is not that tall.  Kids are creative I suppose....I am learning that if you look away for two minutes they will be into something.  Sunday evening  Mason walked out on the upper deck where I was smoking and just looked at me and said he had to tee-tee.  He always tells one of us before he goes to the bathroom....so I said, "ok go in there and tee-tee".  At this point he pulls his swim trunks down and proceeds to urinate on the deck.  Unfortunately the guys were pulling our dinner off the grill....which is on the lower deck.  Thanks for the marinade kiddo.