Really?

Today I have a rant.  I was going to rant on Sunday, but was too pissed off.  Then I was going to rant yesterday, but decided I wanted to think about the topic just a little more.  But the more I think about it, the more confused and angry I get.

This past Saturday night my roommate invited this new guy over to hang out, play some games, have a few drinks.  Cool.  We've been wanting to meet some people in the area.  Well this guy shows up and seemed nice enough at first, but it really didn't take long for him to completely get on my nerves. 

The first sign that we wouldn't get along was the seemingly endless racist jokes.  Seriously, if you have to preface your "joke" with a comment like, "I'm not racist but....", then it's almost guaranteed that you're about to make a racist comment that's going to piss me off.  Also, just because you dated a black woman once doesn't prove to me that you aren't racist.  I mean I dated men once, does that make me straight?  Umm, no.

The next sign that we're not going to BFF's has to do with my name.  Personally I'm not very good with names either, so it didn't bother me at first when he called me by the wrong name.  So I feel he should NOT get all huffy with me when I don't pronounce his name incorrectly.  His name is Derrick, I'm sorry that I said Derrick and not Derrick.   I apologize that I didn't properly stress the last syllable of his name *rolls eyes*...that being said, he should understand my considerable frustration when he called me Ashley, Amanda, Sarah, Megan, and whatever other names were inserted other than my actual name.  I think he started to notice that I was getting annoyed so rather than even make an attempt at remember my name he started referring to me as "the lesbian" or "bitch".  Not cool. 

This brings me to another point.  The roomie and I refer to each other by bitch, hoe, hooker...the list goes on and on.  BUT that is different, he's my best friend, we know each other very well...we know (usually) what's ok and what isn't ok. And we know that it's all in fun.  I met this person like 2 hrs prior and he thinks he is on the same level as my best friend?  Really?  Really?

So the racist jokes and the name thing were annoying.  And now another friend of ours (who happens to be black) comes over.  Derrick at one point won a round of some card game we were playing and literally said, "white power!".  And then later he asked, "where's your hue challenged friend, it's his turn".  I thought my jaw was going to fall off of my face.  Is this guy fucking serious?!? 

By this point I had consumed a few alcoholic beverages and was having a very difficult time holding my tongue.  I decided it was probably a really good time to go outside and have a cigarette.  My roommate could tell I was upset so he came outside to check on me.  I made it clear that I didn't like this guy and that I would prefer if he was asked to leave.  Did that happen?  No.  What did I do?  I was rude to him, made him look foolish a few times, threatened to throw a shot glass at him once (I'm almost positive I wouldn't actually throw a shot glass at another human being), then I finally became frustrated to the point that I decided to remove myself from the situation and go to bed.

David (black friend) actually had fun hanging out with this guy, as did my roommate and his boyfriend.  I could not understand why I was the only one who was offended.   And honestly I don't know exactly what I should have done.  But I damn sure should've told the guy that I was offended instead of just being passive aggressive about the whole situation.  It makes me sad that there is so much hate and anger floating around and rather than try to fix it, I perpetuated it.  Alcohol, you are not always my friend.  The next time I encounter this guy I think I need to have a civilized chat with him about everything that happened, and how I feel about it.


Input and advice would be greatly appreciated.