You Owe Me....BIG

So here's what happened:  I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business and just working away when I feel something tickling my leg.  It was a strange sort of feeling, kinda like something was crawling on me.  I scratched absently at my leg and didn't really think much about it.  I'll be honest here, it had been a few days since the last time I had shaved my legs, and I thought there was some possible leg hair/jeans friction going on.  But then I felt it again, a little higher up my leg and this time it definitely felt like something crawling on me.  I had a moment of panic, felt my leg, and YES there was something crawling on my leg...INSIDE MY PANTS!!!  I didn't really have time to consider my options, at that point I was convinced that some posionous psychotic spider was crawling up my leg...and I am truly terrified of spiders.  Once the notion of having a spider in my pants fully formed in my brain, the panic intensified exponentially.  I didn't know what to do.  The only thing that seemed logical to me at that moment was to get the hell OUT of my pants and somehow remove the horrible arachnid of death and destruction.  At this point the hopping around and frantic stripping begins...well, really it was only half stripping.  Anyway, so I'm standing in my cubicle with my jeans around my knees and come face to face not with the dreaded spider of doom, but a harmless little cricket.  He looked just as scared and confused as I felt.

Holy cricket in my pants Batman!  How does this shit happen to me?

Needless to say, after the initial terror and adrenaline drained from my system I felt quite ridiculous and quickly redressed.  Thank goodness my cubicle has high walls.  And for the first time since the recession started, I was actually thankful that some of my former coworkers had been laid off.  In the end I didn't die, wasn't injured, and most importantly nobody witnessed these antics.

Oh, the cricket was released back into the wild.  Eventhough he scared the ever loving hell out of me, I couldn't bring myself to harm him.  You owe me, buddy!