Smokin'

My roommate/gay husband has decided to take drastic measures and start taking the little blue pill, you know Chantix. He has decided to quit smoking. He also feels that I should quit smoking....crazy boy. I have cut back on my smoking a lot though. I used to average about a pack a day during the week, and probably close to two packs a day on weekends. I now smoke about a pack of cigarettes throughout the week, and usually one more on the weekend. I feel that going from around eight packs a week to two is quite an accomplishment. I'm happy with that. This isn't about me though...our gay hero is not happy with merely cutting back; he is determined to quit smoking completely. That's fine if he wants to be a non-smoker. Who am I to judge? But anyway back to this miracle cure, Chantix. When my precious came home one day and told me about said drug I was like, hmm cool beans. I didn't really know a lot about it, had heard people mention it, but wasn't hip to all the lovely side effects, so I did some reading...


Important Safety Information (taken directly from the Chantix website)

Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help them quit smoking. Some people had these symptoms when they began taking CHANTIX, and others developed them after several weeks of treatment or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family, or caregiver notice agitation, hostility, depression, or changes in behavior, thinking, or mood that are not typical for you, or you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, anxiety, panic, aggression, anger, mania, abnormal sensations, hallucinations, paranoia, or confusion, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away. Also tell your doctor about any history of depression or other mental health problems before taking CHANTIX, as these symptoms may worsen while taking CHANTIX.

Some people can have serious skin reactions while taking CHANTIX, some of which can become life-threatening. These can include rash, swelling, redness, and peeling of the skin. Some people can have allergic reactions to CHANTIX, some of which can be life-threatening and include: swelling of the face, mouth, and throat that can cause trouble breathing. If you have these symptoms or have a rash with peeling skin or blisters in your mouth, stop taking CHANTIX and get medical attention right away.

The most common side effects include nausea (30%), sleep problems, constipation, gas, and/or vomiting. If you have side effects that bother you or don’t go away, tell your doctor.

You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual, or strange dreams while taking CHANTIX. Use caution driving or operating machinery until you know how CHANTIX may affect you.

CHANTIX should not be taken with other quit-smoking products. You may need a lower dose of CHANTIX if you have kidney problems or get dialysis.

Before starting CHANTIX, tell your doctor if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, or if you take insulin, asthma medicines, or blood thinners. Medicines like these may work differently when you quit smoking.

CHANTIX is a prescription medicine to help adults 18 and over stop smoking. You may benefit from quit-smoking support programs and/or counseling during your quit attempt. It’s possible that you might slip-up and smoke while taking CHANTIX. If you do, you can stay on CHANTIX and keep trying to quit.

Ok, so if you read through all that, then you're probably saying the same thing I did "holyeffingsh*t". It always amuses me to see the side effects all these wonderful new pills they're coming out with. It's like they're saying "what you're doing can kill you, take this pill so you can stop, but please be aware that this pill could kill you". It BAFFLES me.

And on a related note, I saw a Chantix commercial on TV last night that made me laugh (which is the real reason for this blog). The commercial is centered around this soccer mom looking lady that's just sitting on her couch talking about how she used Chantix and how great it is and it helped her to quit smoking, blah blah blah. She tells her little story and at the end she says, "stopping smoking cigarettes is wonderful, the best thing that ever happened, the best thing I have ever done besides my husband, and dogs, and family....” Soooooo, since my mind occasionally (ok, frequently) slips into the gutter, I snickered like a teenage boy and was like "omg did she just say she did her husband, dogs, and family? dirty whore, quitting smoking is the least of your concerns. *giggle giggle*". I know I know I'm a sick twisted sorry excuse for a human. What can I say; I'm amused easily and by strange and possibly inappropriate things.


Now I think I'll go out for a smoke.