Whacky Doodle Dandy

Astroglide, that's what I'm going to start calling my oddball over-sharing coworker.  Because really K-Y was just too obvious.  For anyone who didn't catch yesterday's post, this batshit crazy lady that I work with was compelled to tell me about her dried up hoo-ha.  I believe her exact words were, "I can't find a boyfriend because I'm dry...you know, down there".
This particular conversation fascinated me.  Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no interest at all in this chicks bits and pieces.  BUT I do find it absolutely amazing that this woman, who I barely know, decided to bestow this information upon me.  I'm also curious as to how this particular problem prevents her from finding a boyfriend.  Unless of course she randomly volunteers this information to potential dates...which I could really see her doing now that I think about it.

I also have a couple of other issues with Astroglide...
~ she got all of her hair chopped off and then told me that we were "twinkies".  Umm, no we're not freakshow.  First off, I have naturally straight hair and she has naturally curly hair (which she doesn't straighten).  Second, my hair is cut in a bob (according to my sister in law a "bitch bob"...longer in the front and stacked in the back) while Astro's hair looks kinda like my grandma's, which would be nowhere even remotely similar to my hair.
~ on two separate occasions she has actually touched my hair.  That was pretty weird.  Call me crazy but I have an aversion to people that I don't really know touching any part of me.
~ she offers me a Diet Coke at least two or three times a week.  Each time I politely tell her that I do not like Diet Coke and decline.  She then tells me that she has to drink Diet Coke because she is diabetic.  Seriously, I think she has told me she drinks Diet Coke because she's diabetic 973,426 times since she's started working here.

One day I'm going to snap, and it's not going to be pretty.  I can see it now, I'll go into full on Tourettes mode and start screaming about Diet Coke, granny hair, lube, and twinkies...then I will just sit in the corner chanting "please don't touch me, please don't touch me" while slowly rocking back and forth.  Should be entertaining.